I’m sure most husbands can relate to the following statements:

“My wife doesn’t know how beautiful she is…”
“..she still doesn’t understand how I love her so much”

(when asked if she looks fat),

“you have to be fat to look fat babe”

My wife and I are approaching 12 years this May #goals –will you still be my valentine? –Always! . When I think about the ways that I love her I realize she probably doesn’t even know. She probably still doesn’t get it. To her credit though, if I was being honest, it is a moving target. Because when I take the moment to describe my adoration for her I realize its different than the last time. I’m writing this to say, that is a very good thing.

A love that is constantly being redefined is #refreshing! Whether you were fighting and you determined your love for one another through your resolve, or through just another day that you got to appreciate each other, you took the moment to recognize what you have; either way it is revitalizing.

A love that is refreshing is a love that is #growing! Change will reflect one of two things: growth or death. Our natural instinct is to keep love alive, but there are also many natural causes that will attempt to destroy our understanding of love. Thankfully it is never about the circumstance, rather it is what we do under the circumstances that determine whether or not our love will grow from this.

You’re not just exposing your experiences and insecurities to them, you are becoming who you are right before them

A love that continually grows is #active! Love that is willing to reveal its many angles is trusting, vulnerable, and totally worth it! Growing up or growing old has many things to look forward to, but it also has its awkward moments. It’s one thing to share your life with someone, it’s another to share your spirit with them. You’re not just exposing your experiences and insecurities to them, you are becoming who you are right before them. Think about that. Things that are hidden from you about yourself will eventually be revealed to you for the first time and your spouse will be there for the unveiling.


This is a reminder to me of why vows are so selflessly worded. “I will love you…” no matter what is behind the curtain tomorrow. An active love is not just words, but it is the present verb to say I will BE there, to care for, to protect, to guide, and to ensure you make it, just as I would for myself. My wife is not just beautiful, smart and an endless list wonderful things, she is the one my heart trust… #feels

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8

Remembering that “God is Love” is monumental to this entire thought. Consider the hope we have on this side of heaven with an endless understanding of love. God is Love which is the source of this infinite supply. To say I fully understand love would be to claim to fully understand God, since I cannot do that I will be patient in the things that I do not understand. We all have a need to be loved because we all have a need for God, He made that clear in 1 John 4:8. So pursue a love that is refreshing (John 4:14), growing (John 15:5), and active (John 13:34).