Worth A Moment

Our journey to walk WORTHY (Eph 4:1)

Category: #POV (Page 1 of 2)

Response and reactions to our culture or major events. It’s easy to be led by emotion but it is wiser to be led with perspective

2020 Personal Reflection Message

December 29, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Globally 2020 is one for the history books, I’m convinced they will define the next generation by the impact of COVID-19 and the myriad of misplaced expectations that came with it. Everyone’s experience was both collective & shared, yet very unique and isolated. No one had the foresight to see what 2020 would bring, but because of it we will likely all see the future differently. What a paradox to live in, curse and blessing, sorrow and hope, pain and beauty.

Personally I practice perspective because one thing life has never lied to me about is that there is always a story outside of my circumstance. So even when I only see defeat I will look for victory. During difficult seasons I may only experience pain, I will tell stories of peace because I know an amazing Author.

My passion for people has led me to live in the crowd of company; extraverted by nature I want to be where the people are and I want to serve them in a way that reminds them of the love of God that He showed me. Unexpectedly, 2020 has been a nudge from my Father to focus on “me”. To take IN what He has for me without the expectation to then pour OUT something before it has nourished my soul.

As with all misplaced expectations, this was full of conflict, but again I choose to read about opportunity. Rather than emphasizing Saul’s pursuit of David, I highlighted God’s protection and favor over him. Your heart will inevitably believe what you focus on. So in a year that forced many into social media outlets, I found myself more disconnected and uniformed than ever before. Yet even in the midst of uncertainty I felt grounded in Gods’ firm grip of my life.

2020 has given me a new appreciation for my introvert friends, I definitely think they hold some of the secrets to a well-lived life. At this point in my life, books have a much larger influence on me and I’m grateful for authors like John Mark Comer, Cal Newport, Chip and Dan Heath, Priya Parker, Adam Grant and Neal Shusterman. Additionally, I wouldn’t see the world as I do today without leaders like Craig Groeshel, John Maxwell, Patrick Lencioni, Steven Furtick, Micheal Todd, Simon Sinek, Lin Manuel Miranda, Crawford Loritts, Del Tacket, and Levi Lusko.

Finally, I wouldn’t be whole if it wasn’t for the support of so many around me, but specifically a few that I would be remiss to not call out, my family (the heartbeat for who I am), Mark Bennet (a leader in the most important way), Ryan & Bekah (redefining the power of friendship), Curtis, Rodney, Adrian, Jessie, Jordan, Devaughn, Manny, Zach, Matt, Angel, and Nathan (you men share your life with me and let me share mine with you, one of the greatest blessings I have), and lastly but above them all, in a category and class of her own, my wife has been more than God had promised when He said that she would be a “helper.”

Andrea Worth has inspired influenced and shaped me more than any person in the world, her love for God and others has awaken in me a selfless desire to do and give more than I would have ever imagined. She leads me to be everything God intended, and when I think that is too much, she holds my hand and reminds me that we are doing it together.

“He who finds a good wife finds a good thing”

Proverbs 18:22

So…

And, husbands, if you do have one, take care of her, she’s a gift from God.

In summary, 2020 has a lot to teach us about ourselves, so take a minute before it’s over and consider the lessons before the next semester kicks off.

Social Distancing Header

Unprecedented Times are not Impossible Times

March 19, 2020 / / 0 Comments

As someone who has dealt with depression in the past, I know how anxious times can create dips in our mood. (Normally I love dip, but not this kind). I’ve heard from you recently via the interwebs and phone calls – you’re confused, you’re scared, alone, out of toilet paper, the owner of 30 cans of ravioli with no desire to eat any. Whatever you’re feeling, please allow me to offer a few words of encouragement and steps to avoid downward spiraling before the Corona-crazy of social distancing really sets in. In all reality, life will be harder. We will not be able to control what happens on the outside, but perhaps we can protect ourselves from complete self-destruction in our homes.

The coronavirus does not change God’s promises – it won’t diminish the potential you have

2020 is supposed to be the “Year of Vision,” and I want to see a fresh perspective from God on our current situation. During this time I have felt the need to stay realistic but hopeful. Informed, yet positive. Sound impossible? It kind of is at times! Here’s the thing – this is an unprecedented time, but we have an Unstoppable God! He is showing me that beyond my need to stay woke, I need to TRUST Him (Ps. 9:10). Trust in His sovereignty. Trust that God still has a future and a hope for me, and for you! The coronavirus does not change God’s promises – it won’t diminish the potential you have. COVID-19 can’t limit the growth you will experience or the depths where God will take you.

#sociallydistantNOTspirituallydistant 

Friend, God is with you now, and will complete the work He started in you.

  • He will provide for you!
  • He will stretch you!
  • He will refine you!
  • He will hear you!
  • He will show up in ways you never thought possible!

He will draw near to you, as you tune into Him and tune out the chaos (Ps. 34:18).

Social distancing can still be a time to connect, to grow, to love and serve others, to go beyond buildings, and to test the boundaries of community.

Impossible starts with possible steps

This is also a time to grieve our losses, and beyond acceptance, surrender them to a God who sees, cares, protects, knows, heals, and prospers us. So. While you are on your journey to trust and surrender, allow me to share the things I follow DAILY to keep myself from those low, low places. 

Routine

Yes, sleep in once in a while, snuggle way way more right now, but don’t knock the beauty of routine. Set a time for YOURSELF (yes, you Mama) and keep it on the regular. If you’re feeling off, you might just be off your routine. 

Self-Care/Development

My best mornings look like this:

  1. Wake up / drink my pre-workout (Mommy Crack:Energize)
  2. Read devo/personal development book of choice
  3. Journal thoughts of gratitude
  4. Make short list of 3 – 5 things I will accomplish that day
  5. Push play (virtual gym for the #quarantine win!)

My best mornings/nights look like this:

  1. 10 min shower of prayer/meditation and stretching
  2. Planning and prioritizing my time for the day
  3. Reading/Audiobook
  4. Journal/Reflection time before bed

Workout

Working out has become one area I cherish, not because I dream of abs, but because I infuse my faith with my fitness! This combination is more beautiful than peanut butter and chocolate (and that’s saying a lot for me)! During workouts I listen to worship, podcasts, teachings, or just giving thanks for the gift of movement!

Water

Drink ALL the water (hopefully you have a Brita or filter)! Water is essential for life, and your well-being. Drink half of your weight, yes, you’ll run to the bathroom more, but that’s just burning extra calories – you’re welcome! 

Laugh

I love to laugh! Find joy in life, and learn to laugh at even the frustrating things, it beats crying all the time, lol! 

Serve Others

Acting outside of myself and serving people really takes my focus off my own worries. Call an extroverted friend who is hating this social distancing, find out if your elderly neighbor needs a grocery run, or post encouragement for others to read! Ask me how you can help! When you give, I promise you also gain! 

BE THANKFUL

A heart of gratitude knows SO MUCH JOY! What a blessing it is to serve others through the sacrifice of freedoms right now. Let’s take inventory every day of our blessings and teach this to our children.

Friends, I know this season just started, but let’s not let it overtake or discourage us. Even in an unprecedented season, can we disinvite fear and choose to trust and surrender daily to the God of Possible?

It might just be #worthit.

Lifelong Learning Assessment on Marriage

June 5, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Recently I finally submitted a long overdue Lifelong Learning Assessment (LLA), a paper that I wrote in college for credit I earned outside the classroom. Considering the motivation of our blog is to genuinely share our experiences in hopes they can encourage and inspire others, I thought this debrief of our of courtship and marriage could be a great read for our followers.

With that said, below I have posted my LLA submission on the topic of Marriage. Since this was a 10 page assignment I went ahead and broke the subtopics into separate post hopefully making it easier to read through. Also, in order to demonstrate learning from my experience the paper had to outline the learning cycle through each of Kolb’s four stages of learning (Concrete experience, Observations and reflections, Generalizations, Applications), through three separate subtopics.

Enjoy and please comment with any thoughts or feedback you have at the end!

Marriage

Love has been called many things: a metaphor, a battlefield, a headache, a losing game, and yet often referred to as “the greatest thing.” Although, beyond all the speculation on the concept, many young, and often still maturing individuals, “fall in love,” which results as the premise for starting a family of their own. Considering that the foundation for how an individual understands the entire world can often be traced to their family institution or lack thereof, it is strange that the basis for instituting such a large responsibility is often decided by “falling” into a feeling that cannot be fully conceptualized. For this reason, I find it valuable to share my experience regarding this important decision. Unlike most Hollywood scripts written on this subject, this is not a plot about how “the boy gets the girl,” (it is overplayed and clearly not as valuable), rather this is a story about how the boy keeps the girl. Covering the process of courtship, the early marriage stages of family development and the function of the family.

  1. The Process of Courtship
  2. The Early Marriage Stage of Family Development
  3. The Function of the Family

Conclusion

In summary, I want to encourage you to challenge what you understand about the institution of marriage, especially its relationship to the family organization. Consider the very real concept of love and the influence it has on such a large area of your life. Love is not just the basis for starting a family, but it is foundational to the entire structure; without it, marriage and families cannot weather the storms that will inevitably come into their lives. It is important to approach such a commitment with an experienced and mature understanding of unconditional love, as well as, a young passion that can revitalize and rekindle that commitment. Thankfully, the greatest picture of love has been forever inscribed on our hearts and in God’s Word. Therefore let us be wise and model the example of Christ for our loved ones so that they too can experience the blessings of true love in their life.

References

  • Eggerichs, Emerson. “The Crazy Cycle.” Focus on the Family. N.p., 2005. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Graham, Billy . “Responsibility of Family.” Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. N.p., 27 Jan. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Harris, Joshua. I kissed dating goodbye. Sisters, Or.: Multnomah , 1997. Print.
  • Henry, Matthew, A Commentary on the Whole Bible, vol. 1, Fleming Revell Company, Old Tappan, New Jersey, p. 20, n.d.
  • Hinnant, Greg. “Why God Created Marriage for a Man and Woman.” Charisma Magazine. N.p.,
  • 28 Jan. 2015. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Johnson, Jim. “Pitfalls of the Modern Family.” Preston Trail Community Church. N.p., 27 Aug. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Lisitsa, Ellie. “The Sound Relationship House: The Positive Perspective.” The Gottman Institute.
  • 3 min read, 28 Nov. 2012. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Macy, Tom. “Sex and the Single Person.” Tom Macy. N.p., 12 Sept. 2013. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Norman, Rachel,. “The Dangers of a Present But Absent Parent.” A Mother Far from Home. N.p.,
  • 18 Jan. 2014. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Piper, John. “Sex and the Single Person.” Desiring God. N.p., 1981. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
  • Watters, Candice. “Should a husband place ministry or family first?” Boundless. N.p., 18 Feb. 2014. Web. 02 Jan. 2017.
June 5, 2017 / / 0 Comments

This article is part 3 of 3 subtopics from the “Lifelong Learning Assessment on Marriage“

The Function of the Family

Concrete Experience

From the moment my wife and I returned from our honeymoon and were handed the high school ministry at our church, ministry has always been a focal point within our family. God was always the center of our relationship, therefore serving Him and giving back has always been a driving motivator in our lives. After a couple years, kids began to enter the picture and our approach towards ministry began to change. At first the changes were subtle, but as a new child entered the picture, and as each began to grow into the unique individuals that they are, the choice to do ministry was not as simple.

Our kids were growing up so fast, and although we never wanted to a miss a moment, it was clear that we couldn’t be both fully present in ministry and our children’s lives at all times. At times our kids were praying for the needs of the hurting all around us, as they asked God to feed the people they saw on the street, or to find a home for the kids that were in the foster care system. Then there were moments where they cried for attention, not wanting to wake up early for church, or spend quality family time not at home together. The struggle to balance family and ministry was and is a difficult task with no clear instruction.

Observation/Reflection

At first I didn’t realize how my pace towards ministry changed when I got married. Andrea and I were both so motivated to serve wherever God had us, we genuinely believed that our marriage would enables us to do more than we ever could have done alone. As we became parents both of our perspectives were challenged, our hearts to love our students and to love our children were being defined for the first time. It was never a question that we loved the people in our lives, but how do you ensure that those people know you love them?

Although ministry was a focal point within our marriage, what would be its place within our family? Furthermore, what would be the purpose of our household? As parents you quickly learn to embrace the responsibility of survival; that we will provide and protect our children to the best of our abilities. But more than keeping them alive into their adulthood, we begin to consider how we would raise them to be mature individuals, godly men and women, and possible influential leaders of their generation. Unfortunately, parents cannot force family values into the hearts of their children, but by building pillars of character into them you can impact the world in a way that cannot be accomplished in the absence of a family.

Abstract Generalizations

The function of the family relies so much on God’s teaching to each individual: “husbands love your wives” (Ephesians 5:25), “wives submit to your husbands” (5:22), “children obey your parents” (6:1), “fathers, do not provoke your children to anger” (6:4). These instructions are true because they identify deeply rooted aspects of our rebellious nature that God understands about us regardless of our belief in Him. For example, the instruction for husbands and wives is one of “Love and Respect,” and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs clearly portrays this interdependency between the husband and wife through what he calls “The Crazy Cycle” (2005, Emerson). This cycle is observed when a wife disrespects her husband in some way which leads him to be unloving to her, in response she again shows him disrespect and the cycle continues until one of the two heeds the instruction of God’s word, “each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, NIV).

To be a husband and father is a choice to enlist in God’s design, “joining God in the creation of new life and training them in the fear of the Lord is spiritual warfare” (Watters, 2014). As the head of the household (1 Corinthians 11:3), husbands are to provide vision and maintain perspective that will direct and keep the family unit operating as one. As a husband surrenders his will to God’s authority, and his wife respects his leadership, she then demonstrates obedience for her children to participate in.

Scientifically, this divine structure is sound. As acclaimed psychologist Dr. Gottman points out in his counseling of marriage and family, a fundamental principle of relationships is “influence;” allowing yourself to be affected by others (Lisitsa, 2012). All relationships have the potential for influence, and rightfully so we must be on guard against toxic influences (1 Corinthians 15:33), but the family structure provides a framework of trust that bypasses all defenses one could put around their heart.

Application

As we embraced the changing seasons of life, we learned to welcome our roles. Our balance for ministry and family was no longer a task to complete or some mark of achievement; rather it was a barometer to maintain perspective. As a husband first, does my wife feel that I love her and do I know she respects me? As parents, ensuring to always love our children first, we made every effort to communicate to them that our love and our understanding of the concept comes from God’s demonstration of it.

From these foundational, family first perspectives we could function as a family outside of our own household. Just as God’s love could not be contained, my family can now see how my love for them is not reserved or favored to one another. Likewise, our family’s love for one another is not kept isolated to ourselves, but as family we go to meet the needs of those in our community; extending the patience, grace, and love that we practice in our home.

A family, no matter the size or stature, should represent the human pursuit of unity. Not absorbing and embodying one singular personality, but building one another up in such a way to produce the best of each individual. The process of family teaches us to put aside our innate selfishness and to support one another through an unchosen bond of trust and loyalty. It is unfortunate in our day and age that too often this establishment is abandon; not only for the family involved, but the community they inhabit.

Continue reading:
Lifelong Learning Assessment on Marriage

June 5, 2017 / / 0 Comments

This article is part 2 of 3 subtopics from the “Lifelong Learning Assessment on Marriage“

The Early Marriage Stage of Family Development

Concrete Experience

Now that I had a clear understanding of how to approach marriage, I was able to intentionally pursue a wife. On March 6th, 2002, I asked my now father-in-law to court his daughter with the intention of considering marriage. With his approval Andrea Balderrama and I began our courtship dance, which led to a promise, then eventually an engagement, and lastly our wedding day on May 22, 2004. A few years later God blessed us with our first born son, David-Nicholas. Shortly after that we had Logan-Matthew. And finally this past year, our daughter Aria Linda.

With a full-house comes a full gamut of responsibility. For years I tried to balance the different demands of being a husband, father, brother, and son, but being a leader, provider, counselor, and friend among other things is not an easy task. Often I experienced seasons of focus on a single role because of the overwhelming nature of each. As I intentionally made daily decisions to become better at each position I would make strides in one area only to find myself lacking in another. It was becoming clear that, like most people, I wanted these relationships but I didn’t always want the responsibility that came with each.

Observation/Reflection

Now, over a decade into marriage, I begin to understand and fully grasp things that are foundational to the very institution. For example, if only I realized the significance of our wedding day in the context of family I might have emphasized and practiced my role as a husband sooner than later; foregoing the overwhelming reaction I had when children became part of the equation. As I pursued marriage I had set my sights on a long lasting relationship, divorce proof and unbreakable, but as the years passed I began to see that what I should have pursued from the beginning was family. Those vows were not just the beginning of our lasting relationship, but they were the beginning of a family of two.

As life went on, stopping for no one, my wife and I had to adapt to our newly found roles together, and in essence, that was the beauty of marriage that I began to see. No matter what life threw our way we got to do it together; failures, successes and all. Married or not, life demands these attributes of us all, every relationship carries with it a responsibility. Family values, traditions, and worldviews are all defined within the context of family, so to take that responsibility lightly is to miss out on the biggest opportunity each of us has.

Abstract Generalizations

Fortunately, our approach towards marriage through our courtship season helped my wife and I grow in our thinking about the opposition we would face in our life together. I cannot imagine how couples handle the responsibility that comes with marriage without a strong foundation in God’s design for the institution. God purposed a different, but equal role between a husband and wife, “God first prepared the man for his wife, creating a deficiency only she could fill” (Hinnant, 2015). Out of man’s need for companionship God made for Adam a wife and helpmate, “made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved” (Henry).

It is said, “the family is the most important unit of society” (Graham, 2016), and what begins with a husband and wife eventually becomes a father and mother. Understanding our roles enables us to accept our responsibilities. “Children need to learn that being part of a family, a team or a class involves accepting responsibilities” (Focus on the Family, 2004). Parents shape their children’s understanding of these roles whether they intend to or not. Although, there may not be a clear right way to parent, there are definitely pitfalls to avoid, one of the most dangerous is being an absent parent. An “emotionally unavailable” (Norman, 2014) parent can produce a dangerous void in a child’s life, and a “child with no heart connection and a relational emptiness they will fill with someone, somehow” (Johnson, 2011). Therefore, very early when building a family it is vital to commit to this responsibility, not even to fully understand it, but to commit to the goal of raising a family.

Application

My experience of starting a family at such a young age has taught me to embrace responsibility as a vital part of relationship. These years of first hand experiences, coupled with my fortified commitment to my wife and my marriage, have made the vision for leading a family clearer. It was never about finding “the one” but rather being the one. As a leader you begin to realize the power of your sphere of influence, and as a father and husband I began to see that my family was and is my sphere of influence.

With these motivations internalized, my wife and I began to foster family values in a way that strengthened our marriage and directed our family. We memorialized our last name (Worth) into a hashtag, categorizing what we do as a family in the form of “#worthit.” Like a modern day family crest we would pass on the standards and value of our family, collectively deciding to “walk worthy”, to encourage a strong “worth-ethic” and integrity in deed that would live up to our name.

Continue reading the next subtopic:
The Function of the Family

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